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A new beginning: Inaugura- tion optimism abounds BY ScoITKING STAFF WRITER "Yes, you, my fellow Americans, have forced the . spring. , Now we must do the work the season demands." On a crisp, sunny day in Washington, D.C., Bill Clinton voiced these eloquent words in his inaugural speech; words which expressed an optimism that all of us, working together, young and old, black and white, will sow new seeds in the hope of reaping a different harvest than the one we are experiencing to- day. The essence of his rousing, seemingly extemporaneous speech was a challenge to "answer the call" in order to fix what has been wrought by twelve years of Republican rule. I listened to his speech with a hopeful, but skeptical ear. Many have wondered, myself included, why Clinton seemed to be hedging on his campaign promises and why his cabinet that was supposed to be a "picture of America" looked suspiciously like a picture of the old insiders' network. But I was very impressed by the tone of his inaugural address which set the task squarely on the shoulders of his administration and also-and this is 'the key-on all of us to help move this country away from the social and economic abyss. I felt Clinton expressed what was possible and necessary, after the campaign rhetoric and after the input of information he has sought the last two months. In his speech, Clinton said we needed to "rededicate ourselves to the very idea of America" and he called on -the youth of America, who for many years have been treated lightly, to begin a "reconnection of our tom communities." Clinton also invited older Americans to join in this· "season of -service" in order to transport our country towards a better future. "We need each other" to accomplish this. The focus of his speech harkens back to the focus of John F. Kennedy's Inaugural address in 1960, "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country." In fact, much of his speech was reminiscent of the Kennedy address and comparisons are unavoidable whether you are looking at content or delivery. The torch has pa&sed. Hopefully, we will answer Clinton's call and his admin- istration will heed the tone of this sterling oration. Only time will tell. S1larff Co-Editors ............. , Denine Konwinski, Jen Goodbume Advertising Editors . . . . . . , . . . . Scott Konwinski, Tracy Murphy Cartoonist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carol Bums Opinions Editor ........... Michelle Rouleau Photographer .............. Linda Simpson Entertainment Editor ............. Jim Ballmer Adviser . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sonya Titus Office Manager ................ Melody Sharp Staff: Scott King, Jay McDonald, Tina Jones, Elaine Kosloski, Shawn Dehring, Peter Cole, Michelle Fitzwater, Keith Griffin, Kelly O'Niel, Toby Kuznicki, Melody Sharp, Gary Pingel, Linda Lesniewski, Kevin Brown, Tracy Murphy, Dan Smith, Sarah Edwards Rich Spicer ' w I POL EM IC Vol 2, Issue 7, January 27, 1993 Alpena~ WeatheY .. +--~ 1'- :;: ~ ~ ~ '\ :,/<- t- .f:. - \ ~ ~ '\ ~ ~~ ~ ~ Those First highlights of Dog "Socked" 1992: out of BY JAY McDONALD STAFF WRI1ER Well folks, it's 1993. In case you never read People magazine, here's what you missed in 1992. The dethroning of King · George was the top story of the year. It turns out we had been reading his lips all along. The presidential campaign got quite nasty and downright dumb down the stretch. We found out that the majority won't consider you the best candidate just because you call your opponents names like "Bozo" and "Ozone Head". America's economy went even further down the toilet fo '92. When the President's people went looking for a good union plumber to retrieve it, they were quickly reminded of the 12 years of union busting during the Reagan-Bush re- gime. Forbes magazine published its "Fortunate 400" list of top money earners for the year. While the Bushes didn't quite make the list, the First Mutt, "Millie" did with royalties from her best selling book. A Canadian baseball team, the Toronto Blue Jays, won the World Series. This is akin to Mexico City wmmng the Stanley Cup, pro hockey's World Series. When the Na- tional Hockey League expands to Mexico, and they will, there will be about as many Mexi- cans playing in the league as there were Canadians playing for the Toronto Blue Jays. Princess Diana, perhaps the most loved woman in all of England (sorry, Queen Mother), reportedly said, "Dammit, I'd like to find some feet other than my own under the blankets in the morning." Unfortunately, when she found somebody for the job, half of Great Britain was tapped into her phone and reading her mail. Now her bed, blankets and al , has been tossed right out of the castle. Johnny Carson, that para- gon of late-night talk show hosts, wasn't on just a longer than usual vacation. He actu- ally did retire, to be replaced by Jay Leno. Heading out to pasture with Johnny was Ed (you may have already won) McMahon. Last but not least in 1992, Johnny not only couldn't read but coulc4i't. sp~l: The Presi- dent sent the administration's best speller, Danny, out to America's schools to correct the situation. As a result, all dictionaries will now be re- ferred to as "Quayle's" instead of Webster's, and only resi- dents of Idaho will be allowed to spell "potatoes" correctly. Looking ahead, 1993 prom- ises some interesting changes. The new President is Bill "Bozo" Clinton and the new Vice President is Al "Ozone Head" Gore. The new Vice President admits it's going to be mighty tough filling the "shoos" of his predecessor. "First Lady" has been el- evated to a cabinet level posi- tion and Hillary Clinton be- comes the first "Secretary of First Lady." / yvr ~ White House McDonalds becomes the first restaurant to actually re- side inside the White House and there is a move on to appoint a Secretary of Fast Food. The only White House em- ployee not replaced by someone from Arkansas was the person in charge of cleaning up after e " irs et", as 13 year o Chelsea Clinton brings her cat "Socks" to the capital. Socks, who has a weakness for the media, becomes the biggest source of White House leaks since "Deep Throat" of the Nixon Administration. The World Cup, soccer's World Series, comes to America for the first time. American sports fans are sent to England to learn how soccer fans are supposed to act. While soccer may never become a really popular sport in the U.S., the violence of soccer fans is immediately adopted by American sports nuts. Diana, formerly Princess Diana, gets divorced from Prince Charles and is paid about a zillion dollars as centerfold for Playboy, Pent- house, Mechanics Illustrated and 200 other magazines. She becomes the second wealthiest woman in the world (Mum-in- law is still #1). Jay Leno, formerly a pretty funny guy, has single handedly gotten Americans back into the habit of going to sleep early at night. In an attempt to stem this costly trend, NBC pays David Letterman about a kazillion dollars to replace Leno. It's too late. America is asleep and doesn't notice.