The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

- D-Jon't' q-ark ma-me/ Al..- Im 9-J-ettin' F-fro'i- Frostb;+e el,-in -H,-+he JQ-ola1ttnri/eff p-f/qct.t;( J./-J,ope y-yol.f b-bro"9hr -1-J.-+J,e. t'/-F/Qre 911-!J""! Students speak: What is your opinion of the present ACC snow policy? snow procedure was a little more uniformed or aligned with pena Public School's policy. · When our campus opens and the public schools close, it creates roblems for me as a parent. EDITOR JACKIE SKALUBA ASST. EDITOR LISA SUSZEK ADVERTISING KAREN MASON LORI PAHLKOTTER PHOTOGRAPHER LORI BELANGER CARTOONIST • KYLE KIELISZEWSKI STAFF Rich Spicer Vicki Vandyke Kirstine Titus Tammy Wisniewski Kory Lefebvre Tina Perrin Darin Hite Traci Manning Frank Krist Linda Lesniewski . YvonneLaFave MelissaParteka Megan Thompson '. fY.\"~ \ -~ \. LUKE KROL days that it snows a lot, school should either be cancelled or delayed because lots of students i have to drive a long ways, and the plows usually aren't out early enough. JOYEL HYVARINEN - Since ACC doesn't have dorms, whoever makes the snow policy decision should take into consideration the students that have to travel long distances in the rotten weather. r ~~,q,~,q.~ The · ' · CLEAN TEAM • P.O. 8011. 852 · Alpena, Michigan 49707 · • /517/ 356-231 I ", C•rp•t & UphalJt•fJI Cl••ning • C•t•5trophic R•stor•tian • Building MMt•nrmc• Campus reps needed to promote spring break trips to Daytona and Panama City Beach, Florida. Earn free trips and money while earning valuable buisness experience. Call Kim at 1-800-558-3002. . Lumberjack, 'Issue i, Oct: 11,· i99<f pg 3 :" on tlie Lighter Side by Darin Hite ·Darin's obscure perspective . Ahab was on a quest to find . the great white whale, · Moby Dick; Moses was, by divine direction, on a journey to receive the ten commandments. Indiana Jones battled many adversities to find his treasures and I, like Ahab, Moses and Dr. Jones, am also on a quest. Mine is for education. I awoke this morning to discover that above, around and beneath me, trying to destroy me, an evil wind blows (by chance) the breath of a demon. The Hitler of snowstorms has besmirched the countryside and it is my job as an ACC student to blaze an "Oregon Trail" of sorts from Oscoda to Alpena so my fellow students may follow in my swerving tracks to Northeast Michigan's educational gold rush, Alpena Community College. On my 50 mile trip from Oscoda to Alpena, I have travelled 30 miles. My vessel, a 1973 pea green Pinto wagon, has sustained minimal damage as of yet. Then, in a majestic, white flash, delivered with no more subtlety than someone screaming in your ear, a great white yeti literally catapulted itself at me releasing its enormous haunches and with a blood curdling shriek, much like a banshee, swallowed my auto in a snow bound hell -- a hell only few men can withstand. · I'm out now, plotting my course through the everflowing waves of snow, exploding through gargantuan heaving drifts - - "because out here the road is where you make it." As I drive along, a heavy nervousness befalls me. As I glance into the windows of the houses around me, I observe what seems to be hundreds of lifeless bodies silhouetted against the curtains peering at me, their eyes all burning with one question, Who is this pagan forging through our serene beautyscape?" ' I notice a landmark 45th parallel sign peeking through the frozen crust of this arctic tundra that has taken over our land. When I set sight on the sign, a thought enters and begins to turn over in my mind; "Who is this nameless person, knife in hand, scribing in blood the decree stating that my chosen institution must breathe life today of • all days -- the day hell froze over! Is it Jim Atlas or Jack Lalane -- original tough guys -- men who could withstand any punishment or physical torture? or is it "the nerd" our parents picked on in school who now has the authority to "get them back" by killing off their children - us - in snow related deaths? Maybe it is someone of the woodstock generation who is too tripped · out to see the snow because "Whoa, Dude, Far out! Everything is melting, man. Groovy!" Well, I've reached ACC and am seated in my half empty class. Today I am the lucky one. I am the Moses who has received the ten commandments. I am the Indiana Jones who escaped dangers on every side finally reaching my treasure. I was the lucky one? ... Nab -- I was crazy. I received and was driven by a law written by a blind man! I am today an outcast from safety. I am, on this blusterous snow laden day, living in exile from the traditional snow policy I so trusted for years. I am the explorer, I am in exile, I am an outcast, I am an Alpena Community College student on a highway alone being swallowed by the snow. I am, and you may call me, - - Ishmael. Thunder Bay Moving ~ Storage of Alpena, Inc. 2830 US 23 South, Alpena, Michigan 49707 517/356-2207 Office 1-800-828-2016 Don Lampel Owner (Within Michigan) See Us And Save On All Your Insurance Needs! TIIlS PAGE SPONSORED BY SKIBAINSUAANCE 127 River Alpena, Mi. 49707 (517) 356-9058 (517) 354-3414 , I ~) / J J J j )