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March 2001 How to Respond to Telemarketers Why hang up on them, if you can make them hang up on you? Try to sell them something Act as if you have multiple personality disorder Demand obscure products, then at the last minute change your mind Pretend you're a little kid Ask them to give you their credit card number first Cough a lot into the phone Ask their favorite color, tell them you want a pony, etc Have intense manic- depressive mood swings Give them your life story Tell them you can see them, you're watching them Ask them for their phone number Give them the wrong info- make it up Put them on hold at least 3 times per minute Ask them personal questions A void eye contact Flush the toilet every so often Create static- "must be a bad connection" Turn the radio up really lqud Don't say anything Catch up on the latest gossip Offer him a drink Ask ifhe can call you back-you're in the middle of Repeat everything they say (play shadow) Moo or meow when necessary Count till he hangs up 1..2 .. 3 . .4 .. 5 ..... Answer in a make-believe foreign language Pretend he's your therapist Pretend you can't hear anything he says Insist that he's a friend prank calling you Ask if he can predict your future Flirt Ask for toe fungus products only Maintain relaxed body language Angela Kirschner -- ~ r.--- .- . . ~ -.. ~ "if "I{* K_ . ,,---: " ~~ .. : . -\.• - . ·.,A • / • i • • · .. · .... ·. . -·~-- ... Lilac the lilac signals the beginning of spring and renewal of all living things. The fragerance fills the arr and awakens nature to begin rebirth. Those that enjoy the enchanting fragrance of the lilac are special inhabitants of earth that enjoy the marvels of all it represents. J.S.W MAN'S MOTIF A youth spent searching, longing those fifteen minutes. Desperately reaching, clawing at the unattainable. Stalking one step behind what would not be captured. But still I pursued. A lifetime lost dreaming what should not be thought. Striving to answer what dared not be asked. But yet I gave chase. An appetite left hungry, craving the inedible. Paining to quench a lifelong thirst. A broken man defeated, I look deep into my son, and in his eyes, at last I meet immortality. I ~i~ii~~ \ / '-.. ) ✓' Angela Kirschner The LumbePjacl 9 People [Janee ' ' ' m4 people weep. The4 cr4 m4 tears. reel m4 ach•ng heart. · Wounds so deep. T r4 to res•st. m4 fam•l4 gone, lost to pa•n. Soul real14 hurt. S• t and pra4, 0rea the to seeh. - Doncentra te on l•he.' reel breeze around. ·, • I Dhant m4 understand•ng. ~each deep down •ns•de. l□□h for •nner heart. Humans mahe peace, . among dead and ahv_e. Usten to 4our ancestors, wh•sper •n sleep. Drach e4es open, l□oh at world now. 01□ch out all colors, Showcase does not currently accept open solicitations. This page is designed as an open forum for the creative minds of the ENG 125/126 and ENG 253/254 cla~ses. If you would like to . : ·. submit to the ACC · · - Literary Magazine se~ Denise Bazzett, Tom Ray, or Lori Wade.