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CAMPUS UPDATE FEBRUARY 8, 1982 PAGE 2 Editorial Page Last week a meeting was held to whip up support for plans to end the bickering that has closed Alpena schools and brought neighbor against neighbor, over school issues. The time may now be right to get people to come up with rational solutions rather than revert to the “them or us’ practice of the past few months. A showing of 450 persons at the meeting is a good indication of that. In nearly a years time the school issues have become prominant in peoples’ minds, yet the big differences in opinion stem back to the of the g school districts nearly twenty years ago. As the saying goes: old feelings die hard and it will take plenty of coopération by everyone to come to a viable solution. What we plan now must be something we all can live with. This past month a drug charge of “‘manufacturing a controlled substance”, valued at over $20,000, was dismissed from court due to a defect in the warrant! It was reported that the problem with the warrant was that Cpl eal i ti quested the warrant. Ridiculous i isn’t it? Does it really matter which officer received the tip? It seems to us that when officers work as a team, the team should be considered as search warrant would have been good. Did Judge Ferguson’s decision really serve justice? We don’t think so! One must wonder if the Honor- able Judge Ferguson would have been so lenient if the marijuana was §$being pushed to his family. A charge should not be dropped because of an administrative error. Granted a person's rights must be protected, however, justice also must be served and all factors must be considered -@when making such decisions. Wake up members of the bench and the bar!. If the present send ‘continues this great nation of ours won't be great long! Due to snow conditions and other hassles this issue was delayed a few days. Our next issue will be out February 17th. Ip should have Te | one entity. If this had been done by Judge Robert R. Ferguson the $ MANIFESTATIONS OFFARFRESHMAN by Joel Reeves There’s been a lot of talk lately about the theories of creation and evolution and how and where they should be taught. There have been many flare ups over the years and only recently was a truce agreed upon during a court battle in. Arkansas. You'd think after all these years they’d come up with a solution for this problem. | wasn’t surprised to see that the evolutionists struck first by coming up with a unique method for dispersing their theory that would bring a fond tear to the eye of our great evangelists. | was flipping around the T.V. channels last Sunday morning, and found, sandwiched between Jerry Falwell and Jimmy Swaggart, Evan- gelist for Evolution, Dr. Darwin Diggs. coal . x) game. The show opened with a hymn. Dr. Darwin, as he likes to be called, raised his arms and the con- gregation stood. “Now let us sing the first and last verses of, “You and” Me On the Family Tree.” Next, he read from the Book. “If you wish to follow along please open your “Origin of Species” to Chapter IV, paragraph 4. And the great Darwin said, ‘As man can produce a great result with his domestic animals and plants by adding up in any given direction individual differences, so could Natural Selection, but far more easily from having incomparably longer time for action.’ “Closing the .Book the Evangelist for Evolution waited for the shouts of “Australopithecus!” to die down then cleared his throat and began the sermon. As he did so, a woman appeared at the lower left-hand cor- ner of the T.V. screen, providing sign language for the hearing im- paired. “The sermon for today concerns our new Evolution Evangelist Tabernacle, which is being built right now. Naturally, it will be named after its founder, me, but you can be a part of it too, just by purchasing one acre of the land it is to set upon. Of course, as always, any fossils or archaeological finds will revert back to the church. And with your purchase you will not only receive the pure joy that comes, and goes, with giving, but will also receive, for a small dona- tion, a copy of our new edition of Evolutional Theory for Pre-school- ers, and as a bonus, the pamphlet, Baby Care The Evolutionist’s Way.’” “In this beautiful edition will appear, in red lettering, the words of the great Darwin, just about like he spoke them over a century ago. We decided to revise it a little, in order to take in recent discoveries. And, free of charge, we will engrave your name on the front cover in Egyptian hieroglyphics. Better hurry through, this offer won’t last long. Here’s how to order.”” An address flashed up on the screen so that every 1.V. viewer would have a chance to buy his or hers acre. a Sec nth ae te weenie wit you are offering we will be pre- sented with a song by little Suzy Lu Sue, “It All Started With A Bang.”” The song ended and two mem- bers from the congregation came up beside Doctor Darwin and began _ shaking hands with him. “These are just two of the 16 missionaries,” said the evangelist, "that because of your free will off- erings, were sent into the deepest, darkest, reaches of Africa to con- vert to evolution, the uncivilized, cannibalistic, heathen Gingo- bwatszili tribe. I’m sure they have many interesting experiences they would like to share with us this morning.” “Well,” began one of the missionaries, “actually, we did al- most convert one. But while we were bringing him back up the Congo he fell overboard, and you know how ferocious those croco- diles are,’’ he said, laughing inap- propriately. Continued on page 4 CAMPUS UPDATE editor(s), the advisor, or the of Alpena C Editor: Ed Teckman Assistant Editor: Greg Hurd Sports Editor: is a communications medium of Alpena Community College, and is panied bimonthly—September through May—except during vacations and examination periods, by the students of Alpena Community College—Alpena, Michigan. published are the sole responsibility of the author(s), and the opinion(s) expressed in such articles do not necessarily express the views of the: College. Campus Update is printed by the Alpena News. Administrative Assistant: Janice Wade Advertising Manager: Leonard Bromund, James Stevens Reporters: Sharyn Owens, Georgia Wheeler, Joel Reeves, Deb Ferriter, Nancy La Framboise, Greg Reeves All articles Photographer: Pat Collins Advisor: Dr. L. Aufderheide