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Page 8 THE POLEMIC April, 1974 S.A.0. CALENDAR By Mark Forrest All movies to be shown in the “Cave”, for further information, contact the S.A.O. office. March 6 The Over Night Low The Over Night Low, a jazz and rock group that has been billed on show tickets with Al Green, Billy Paul, Mandril, and other top groups, appeared at the Civic Center through the efforts of the S.A.O. The seven member band has a repertoire of songs by War, Chicago, Stevie Wonder, Buddy Miles, and also a number of original works. March 7-9 “Flap “Flap” is the story of the efforts of a band of Indians, led by Anthony Quinn, trying to call attention to the misery and hopelessness of life on a southwestern reservation. Their antics prove humorous when they attempt to hijack a train and take Phoenix in “The Last Great Indian Uprising”. March 14-16 “Rabbit, Run” James Caan is featured as “Rabbit” Angstrom, an ex-athlete trapped in a loveless marriage to an alcoholic whose inattention causes the drowning death of their young ‘daughter . His intense frustration builds. and he ultimately finds that the love offered him by a quasi-prostitute proves too much to handle. March 21-23 “Malcom X”” This is the authentic film story, narrated by James Earl Jones, of Malcolm’s life from his Michigan boyhood, through life in the Harlem ghetto, his conversion to Islam, and finally his assassination in a New York City auditorium. The sound track includes Billie Holiday singing “Strange Fruit” and “God Bless the Child”. March 25 Gary Kieber- Lecture on Astrology and the Occult Gary Kieber, program director of the Tri-City Federation of Astrologers, will lecture at the A.H.S. auditorium at 8:00 p.m., on the subjects of Astrology and the Occult. Mr. Kieber, who has been involved with astrology for seven years, teaches an occult and metaphysics class at Delta College, and also makes a moderate income by casting horo- scopes for his clientele. March 28-30 “Summer of “42” Gary Grimes takes the lead role as Hermie in this nostalgic retelling of the activities of three teenage boys living in a summer beach colony. The tone of the movie ranges from hilarious- as Hermie timidly attempts to buy prophylactics - to melancholy- when later he has his first sexual experience. March 28 “The Diary of Adam and Eve” The Alpha-Omega Players, a group of young professionals, will perform “The Diary of Adam and Eve” at 8:00 on the A.H.S. auditorium stage. This production is Mark Twain’s version of the story of Eden, and the cast, both talented and friendly, are ready and anxious to talk with the audience after the production. April 3-5 “Come Back Charleston Blue” Gravedigger Jones (Godfrey Cambridge) and Coffin Ed Johnson (Raymond St. Jacques), two detectives actively engaged in the fight against crime, involve themselves tracking down a missing ghost, chasing pushers, and wind up in the middle of a bi-racial gangfight.in their all-out effort to get the heroin out of Harlem. April 27 - - Student Senate is sponsoring a SPRING CLEANUP DAY. A $50.00 prize will be awarded to the group who brings in:the most trash . . . Drop off will be in front of Van Lare Hall. So, get your group organized, and come - - help make Alpena beautiful! Campus Y - - May 1st. NATIONAL FAST DAY... All campuses in the U.S. are participating. The idea is to give all your money that you would usually spend for food on that day to the children in Africa who haven‘t any food. The Student Senate is participating in this endeavor . . . join them, won‘t you? SEENON AAAAA A NTAAGAAA AN ANA AAAS A AAA Spring is just around the corner? What Makes a Caf Purr? (CPS/ZNS) - - Doctor Paul Layhausen of the Max Planck Institute in West Ger- many, has been working on a problem that has puzzled scientists for centuries: he’s been trying to find out what makes a cat purr, and why. Layhausen reported that after studying thousands of cats and the purring sounds they make, he has discovered purrs are very complex habits. Cats, he said, us- ually purr for the same reasons that people smile - - because they are happy and relaxed. However, the doctor added that some cats use their purrs to wrangel a little extra food from unsuspecting humans: these felines purr loudly when people are around, and are usually awarded for their purrs with a .asty treat. Other cats, Layhausen said, have act- ually developed a kind of “high-class’’ or “snobbish’’ purr which makes them aris- tocrats among their fellow cats. The doc- tor explained these aristocratic purrs are developed to gain attention from people when other cats are around. The doctor said that when people leave the room, however, aristocratic cats often drop their “snobbish” purrs and revert to normal purring just to prove to other cats that they are really just ordinary felines. BOBD0b000000000008 Spring is upon us? By John Sliss With its wind, rain, mud and more than likely snow that often talked about but, seldom liked, (except for spring vaca- tion), season is once again upon us. The character that chose March 21, as the first day of Spring certainly didn’t take those of us in Northern Michigan into consideration. Those of us who have spent a previous Spring here know good and well we can expect at least one, or maybe two snow storms after that date. What should have been done, is to allow each geographical region to choose its own date for the beginning of its seasons. June 1, sounds like a fine time for spring to begin here, then we only have one or two months to wait for our week of Summer! This five or six month wait is just too long. With the beginning of this March, one would have thought Spring was on its way to a terrific start. The sun was bright and warm for the first few days, two to be precise, it even became muddy for a while. Then, it got cold, the winds Started, and last of all we received more snow. Not enough snow for skiing, but then again Spring isn’t over yet! To the parent Spring is the season little boys start chasing little girls around the playground and home from school. Hav- ing been a little boy, | have found that Spring isn’t necessary for little boys to chase little girls or, big boys to chase big girls, Spring does, however, give Moms and Dads an excuse, at one time during the year, for the actions of their little darlings. The “Male Chauvinist”, more times that not relates Spring to a woman. For, both Spring and a Woman are very tem- peramental, he says. At times, they are soft and gentle with a faint breeze and a fragrant aroma. And then, a raging storm, strong winds and violence commence. Very unpredictable is Spring, and Woman. Kite flyers probably enjoy Spring more than anyone else. {t seems there are al- ways some fine winds for kite flying. Of course, if you aren‘t on Cable TV you won’t like Spring for chances are, you'll be up on your antenna tower removing a kite or two and a hundred yards of string. It seems the neighbor kids like to see just how close they can come to your antenna without entangling their “Hi- lyers”’. (CPS) - - Students in a Public Opinion and Mass Society course at Colorado State University have compiled a list of the ten most offensive commercials of 1973. A commercial must ‘exploit psycho- logical weakness and vulnerabilities, must stoop to new lows in bad taste, must scrupulously circumvent the critical facul- ties of the viewing public, must seek to profit from the most cherished cultural values or must use social divisions and issues against its viewers,’ to qualify for the “Crommie Award.” This years winners are: 1: Ultrabrite toothpaste, for con- verting the mouth into a sex organ, ex- ploiting the sexual anxiety of teenagers, and exploiting the hostility between mo- ther and daughter. 2: Bayer Aspirin, for exploiting the concern of a mother for the health of her children, converting a trivial truth into a blatant falsehood, contributing to a “drug culture”, and using cliches flagrantly. : Wonder Bread, for offering the mouth Duster. The illusion of quality in its absence, claiming “false merits, and exploiting: concern for health and growth of children. : McDonald’s, for offering a cheese- burger solution to father/son problems, and selling togetherness and family happi- ness. _ 5: Canada Dry, for selling the facsim- ile of. love, exploiting social divisions (black/white, young/old, police/counter culture), and for selling carbonated sugar water as fellowship. Other winners were Excedrin, Mobile Oil, Master Charge, Chevrolet, and Ply- CSU students said the excessively freudian Duster commer- cials exploit “putative (supposed) lesbian Proclivities of prospective buyers, penis envy of young women”, and ‘‘incestuous relationships presumed to mark father/ i daughter love.” | Honorable mention was given to Stand- ‘ard Oil for exploiting “out respect and \esteem for Jonny Cash and his talents.’” i BEAVER’S RADIATOR REPAIRS 1212 U.S. 23 NORTH 356-3666 A FEW MONTHS after moving to a small town a woman complained to a neighbor about the poor service at the local drug store. She hoped the new acquaintance would repeat her complaint to the owner. ime she went to the drug store, the druggist greeted her with a big smile, told her how happy he he could do to help her and her husband get settled. He ee ‘ii her order promptly and efficiently. woman reported the miraculous change to ber At a suppose you told the ce how poor I thought the service was?”” she asked. “Well, no,” the woman said. “In fact—and I hope (you don't mind=1 told him you were amazed abiehe |way he had built up this small town drug store, and that you thought it was one of the best run drug stores ‘ou’d ever seen.”