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Alpena Entertainment Page 5 a How do you kill a winter in Alpena? This is a question pondered by young and old alike. What to do? Well, in all honesty, there isn't much. Most of us belong to one of two groups; the outdoors-type or the party-going insiders. By Mike Rhea If you're an outdoors person, you have several options. You can ski, snowmobile, and even go ice fishing. But one can only sit freezing in a small hut so many times before the novelty and enjoyment wear o} Skiing, in all forms, is fun. 1 myself am a skier, but there are several drawbacks to this enjoyable pastime. Mainly, it is the oldest of Adventure In college problems-insufficient funds. It is difficult at best for finanicially deficient college students to put gas in their car, let alone paying $15-$30 for a lift ticket, And add another $10-$15 if you don't own your own equipment, not to mention the always present cost of gas and food. Cross-country skiing is the best, at least from a financial standpoint. After the initial expense of equipment, cost is very low. And while this sport is an excellent form of exercise, you can wonder how incredibly bored one gets after jogging alone on skis at a slow speed for hours on end. Even beautiful scenery would become tiresome. Alpena's Another option open to the outdoor person is snowmobiling, which is a fast and exciting way to kill time. Kill is the key word here. If you enjoy courting death while sitting atop a loud, unprotected machine hurtling among any number of hard and immovable objects, this is for you. However, all of these pastimes are for the sports-oriented outdoors person. A large portion of people prefer the joys of indoor entertainment. Unfortunately in Alpena that is an exceptionally limited choice. One effective consumer of time is the attendance of parties. Many people indulge in this activity, and parties aren't too hard to find. But the paybacks from this pastime Winter Wonderland are, well, let us say considerably less than enjoyable. While it is hilarious to watch your friend, who passed out on the floor, rise up and moan, "Would. somebody please shut off the sun, my eyes hurt." Or, "I feel like I have a thousand elephants tap-dancing inside of my skull." The experience, when reversed, loses much of the humor. Of course there's always the old favorite, ‘cruising’. If you enjoy driving repeatedly up and down the same street wasting gas, this is the thing for you. Also a popular favorite is the call placed to your girl or boyfriend, saying, “Hows dinner and a movie sound?" Enjoyable, but expensive for the paying party. And, last but not least, is going to your favorite hangout. This is a popular and fairly inexpensive time-killer. Be it the mall, Willy's Place, or wherever, this is a good choice. But this also is a very repetitious routine that can get boring. Well, in closing, there's little to say. Little, except the fact that you should appreciate what there is in Alpena. If you don't, may I suggest you move to Versailles, Indiana. I have had the most dubious pleasure of residing in that little town. To give you another definition in the dictionary under boring it should say ‘Versailles’. There is no movie theater, two bars, one pool hall and two grocery stores. Excitement is reading, watching TV, or vegetating while laying around the house. Try this experience and then you'll appreciate exactly how many things we have to do in Alpena. HOME yy By Chuck Witt Alpena Community College's Homecoming festivites will begin Saturday February 4, with an alumni reception to be held in the BTC lobby from 4-6 p.m. Following the reception, Homecoming basketball games vs Henry Ford College will be played. The women's game will start at 6:00 p.m. and the men's will begin at 8:00. Crowning of the ACC Homecoming Queen will be performed by ACC President Dr. Donald Newport, which will take place during half-time ceremonies of the men's game. Afterwards, a dance will be held in the courts honor at the Alpena Holiday Inn Holidome. The theme of this years dance is " One Night In Bankok ", which features an oriental motif. Music will be provided by the Digital Connection from 9:30 p.m. until 12:00 a.m. Admission is free and guests are welcome. The Student Senate in conjunction with Concrete Tech. and Business Club, would welcome your attendance at this event. : CiaeTe}erc saa By John Pines DISCLAIMER: The following story is not necessarily true; it is, however based upon fact. Due to a string of rather extraordinary circumstances, I am able to tell you the story of the quest for my Homecoming queen. It all started when I walked into the VLH Snack Bar with my precious borrowed dollar in hand and saw her. I was hooked. Friends, let me quote Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. when he said, "I have a dream", but this is no ordinary dream, this is a vision, a quest for my Homecoming queen. She is blonde, with blue eyes and extremely gorgeous. I was hooked, really hooked. As I wandered back to my office, I kept thinking " God, I've got to meet this extraordinary woman". This is where the quest begins. With the music of Mario Brothers ringing in my head, I noticed her heading toward the student parking lot, I knew I had my chance. Conning a friend of mine with a sad ey eyed look, we raced for his c: SDE OF TONE: ‘Homecoming- As we settled into a holding pattern, we noticed she was talking to a friend, and wondered how many more times would we have tocircle? While this was going on, we happened to notice that my poorfriend's gas gauge was on empty. As a matter of fact, it was hanging just below empty. Driving in circles around the parking lot, we found her car and. lied in wait. To my initial dismay, she didn't go to the car that we had targeted as hers. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she got into her car. Upon noticing this significant detail, we fired up the engine and proceeded to drive around the parking lot; with the hope of getting a better view...and we did. I was reeaallyy hooked now! My friend then knew he was in over his head. We gunned the engine and in the midst of the excitement, we happened to cut off a brown Chevette to get behind her. It is here that I would like to apologize to the driver of the Chevette for any inconvenience we may have caused. Are you getting the picture yet ? And __Loves' Although we didn't succeed in obtaining the necessary information, I vowed that I would continue my search. Having the friends that I do, I wasn't sunk yet. While cruising the hot spots of Alpena, we finally located her working at a local convenience Store. It was then that I decided I had to stop to rent a game for a Nintendo, even though I didn't even have one. While paying for my game, I got to talk to my prospective queen. The conversation turned to music as I casually mentioned to her that I was listening to the Smiths in my car. As the conversation became more indepth, I stumbled across a song that I really liked, but in the heat of my excitement, I couldn't remember the name!!! Unbeknownst to her, I had earlier peered through her car window to see what kinds of music she liked. Guys, remember this tip on your next quest, Upon my return to good ol’ ACC, I found that another friend of mine had done a little detective work of his own on my behalf. Labours Looking’ As I walked in, he presented me with her class schedule which he said " Took days to find out ". I was thrilled, to say the least. Upon reading this tidbit of information, I immediately strolled over to the cancellation board, with class schedule in hand, to see which classes of hers were still open. Needing three credits anyway, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Needless to say, I was desperate. The next day I made the necessary arrangements. Work went by sooooo slow, this was the first time I couldn't wait to get to class. It was then that the time had arrived. As I climbed the steps to CRDNRC, my heart began to race. As I entered the class, filled with excitement, I looked around and saw that she wasn't there. I instantly panicked, thinking, "Where is my dream girl? Where are the gods? What am I doing here? ooohhh noooo"!!! While pondering these thoughts in the hall, [happened to look up and there she was. ( Sigh ) The thrill Pe vou SORT RET had returned! I quickly ducked into the library until she had passed, just so it wouldn't look obvious. As our instructor walked by, I took advantage of the situation by asking him about the course and inquiring as to a class outline. We walked into class and as the teacher hunted for the outline, I had a minute to scope out the room. break. After receiving the cailie I made a bee-line to the seat that awaited me, directly in front of her. As I sat down, I turned to her and said" Dial-A-Cliche. . . that's the ee I forgot ". Now, the moral of the story. If you ever get hooked on someone, don't.. I repeat, DO NOT follow my methods, it will take at least six years off your life and destroy whatever self-respect you may have left. Oh, by the way, I never did get to ask my Homecoming queen to the dance, but in one last plea of desparation?? By now you know who you are and who I am, so please save a dance for me at Homecoming this Saturday -- after all, I am the DJ and can pick the song. Dial-A-Cliche perhaps..?