The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Shelter fights back the tears By Kent ANDERSON ‘News Epitor It is a vile trend that per- vades the country like a slithering serpent, gliding through urban and rural com- munities, between racial and. social classes, and winding to the very summit of the cel- ebrated elite.. Domestic violence strikes without con- sidering any type of distinction. It's not easy to treat, not easy to uncover and punish. So, the only way to handle do- ftnestic violence is to lucidly understand it, in many cases, give it voice and attention by the communities in which it exists, according to Barbara Morgan, director of Shelter Inc. here in Alpena. * Ithad always been a fam- ily issue, but about twenty years ago the movement to se- tiously address domestic violence began, Morgan said. Also, more recently, the infa- mous O.J. Simpson trial gave an elevated sense of realism to the issue on a national and local level, she stated. : What must be under- stood about domestic violence is that it is a learned pattern of behavior. According to Morgan, nobody is born with a trait that will cause a per- son to become an abuser, for one must first bear witness, in childhood, to domestic abuse or be themselves abused be- fore he or she arrives at the brutal tendency. Morgan made it clear, however, that not every child who grows up in a violent Household will evolve into a _Batterer. There is no way to predict who will be an abuser or a victim. "It's not just one instance when somebody comes home drunk and' beats their wife,” Morgan said, driving home the point that domestic vio- lence is a pattern of behavior. Morgan explained that the reason a victim doesn't leave his or her abuser is be- cause they have been "conditioned" to accept the abuse as normal, perhaps even as love. Just as the abuser has learned to abuse, the victim has learned to be a victim, grown into a mind complai- sant with the violence and/or manipulation. A victim, Mor- gan said, feels powerless to take any action. They feel worthless, helpless, and with- out hope. There is hope, however. Shelter Inc. exists as a sign of that hope, a way to escape the furious evil of the abuser and find the help, the counseling, to cope with the damage that has been seared onto the mind and body. Shelter Inc. is one of 45 program sites in Michigan which provides services and shelters for victims of domes-_ tic violence. Every site covers specific counties in’ the state, which, along with the federal government and local dona- tions, provides the funding for the shelters’ operations. Alpena's Shelter Inc. is primarily responsible for Alcona, Alpena, Iosco, Mont- morency, and Presque Isle counties, but is more than willing to provide assistance to anyone from any county who may require help with a PRINT MASTER. "vour thoughts in print" Phone: (517) 356-6178 * Pax: (517) 354-3465 2567 US-23 South * Alpena, MI 49707 - Resumes + Printing - Copies + Fax Service Barbara Morgan, Shelter's director, main- tains a positive outlook. a ' ‘ v Puoro. By Despre Pans ‘ violent domestic situation. Nobody is turned away, ac- cording to Morgan. In existence for rou; nineteen years, Shelter was created when the De; ment of Social Services and area residents felt the need | address the problem of d mestic violence. Shelter Inc. is alg within reach, operatin, twenty-four hour crisis and can provide a victin domestic violence with a house, a place to escape y seling, (counseling for children have lived in a violent don tic setting), and advocacy. Batterer's coun ing is also available. year, of residential cl: Shelter housed 85 adults 175 children, Of non-resi tial aus 125 were Pied between 300 calls. been consistently r sin the first of the year." The est time of the year be summer, accordi: Venusians and Martians learn to listen By K. J. Hanson Starr WRITER The Alpena General Hospital is hosting a four part series, called , Look Who's Talk- ing: Women in the 90's... and the men who love them. The first scheduled pro- gram was presented by Michael Najarian, President of Personal Growth Productions. Najarian's talk, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," stems from the works of Dr. John Gray. Gray is the author of the above - titled book, and others such as “Mars and Venus in the Bed- room.” Michael Najarian stud- ied under Dr. Gray for 8 years. He now spends his life interpreting Gray's teachings and conducting seminars. Dr. Gray's books and tapes are produced in 37 different lan- By Kent ANDERSON News Eprror estic violence is a The Polemic © Wednesday, March 27, 1996. The program was pre- sented at the Alpena Civic Center, on Thursday, March 14. All 550 tickets available were sold - out, The majority of the au- dience were women, but many couples were in atten- dance. Najarian felt it was important to point these brave souls out to the rest of the au- dience. The gist of the program was learning ad- vance relationship skills. According to Najarian, ‘Com- monly occurring differences can prevent. mutually fulfill- ing relationships." Najarian's brilliant stage presence helped bring this message home in a comical way. He used the phrase "Men from Mars" to show that men and a women can have completely different feelings about the same subjects. For example, nobody disagreed with him when he stated, " his or her sole control and/ or refusing to pay the bills or buy food and necessities. The latter examples are acts of domestic violence, but they may not be criminal of- i- fenses unless other criminal activity is present. "In the law as it reads now, ne abuse is not ir al abuse, s of verbal or less ae to control, gan. "Sometimes, du holidays, Than Christmas, families together, because h family is better than ily," she stated. Morgan had som advice for college students, Who are at a crucial stage in the devel- opment of serious relafionship skills. "Dignity and rpspect," she said, speaking P both genders, but specifidilly to women. Both individhals in a relationship need to under. layed. Concerning the futire: fot Shelter Inc., Morgan aid, "What we'd really like fp do is go out of business.” ® can attend class 1 night a week for 4 hrs for 55-69 wks ® wish to earn credit for work and life experiences / & want to keep a full-time job & family commitments & complete your. degree) _aa_ SPRING ARBOR pes a A representative from Arbor College be in ACC's VLH RM 121 Thurs April 18 5:30-8:30p Spring Arbor College is a fully accredited Christian College providing academic excellence For more information: Call 1-800-522-6775 strained one's partner. *Used a weapon to ees one's partner. ¢Threatened to kill or harm one's partner or the partner's children, friends, or family members. Destroyed holsenold or personal Hk aie and/ or kille f until a physi t i committed. On an still take d a crime,’ Barbara Morgan, shee clor of Shelter Inc., said. She further stated that the situation to court, but un- less the einotional. abuse is connected to some form of ' physical, prosecutable inci- dent, it will be difficult to prove, according: to Morgan. _ Steps have been taken to prepare police officers for do- mestic violence situations. Classes on the subject are now part of the curriculum at the police academy, Morgan said. Victims of all forms of abuse should contact a com- munity agency (such as Shelter Inc.) for help. If a per- son is the victim of violence that is clearly against the law, he or she should report the of- fenses to the police immediately. The important thing to remember, however, is that a person being abused must seek some form of assistance Books ¢ Antiques * Obj ee _ Custom Framing & Cappuccino Coffee Bar go 4 517-354-3401 01 N 2nd* Alpena Lafarge Corporation Alpena Plant Buckle-Up e you save could be your own! _ Building Today Protecting Tomorrow _ their Venusian friends would. understand that if Martians f d When a ‘nothing's man answers, wrong, to a On the other planet, Venus, "nothing's wrong" means discover her feelings. According to Najarian, man communicates by starting at point A and ending, in an orderly fashion, at point B.- Najarian was quick to point out that women, on the othe: hand, may begin a discussion at point A, then openly circl the issue at hand many times _ before alighting at the coveted point B. } According to Najarian, the problems arise when thi Martians try to apply their tules to the Venusian way of life. They do this by interrupt ing the Venusian flow by offering unwanted advice, such as ‘Well, why don't you just quit your job’ or, ' what's the point,’ instead of empathizing with them as n Najarian summed this up theory, the Venusians need to ship, they are more likely to come back ready to talk. Feel- ing insecure, the Venusians are apt to follow the Martians into their caves, hoping to dis- cover what is bothering them. | Najarian called this the "rub-* ber band theory." Because women talk to discover their): | true feelings, while men stew | _ in silence, this can cause a lot of upheaval in a relationship. Najarian was able to point out our differences, as men and women, in a way that poked fun at them, yet also brought them into the light for better understand. ing. Najarian stated thathe is | presenting this programin the © hopes of achieving world © peace. This may seem like a — far - fetched way of achiev- ; ing this, but peace starts in » your own backyard. By learn- ing good communication ~~ skills with your family, you're more inclined to use them in the real world. ACC SKI CLUB YEAR END EVENT! Ss Ss Cc I oO E K E L K E wy: NO SNOW - WE'LL HIKE APRIL 12 &13 Leave Fri 3p Return Sat night Reservations call: Sarah Sabourin 354-3825 Lincoln Rasche 354-5695