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November 1973 POLEMIC Page 7 Avoiding A Ticket Much dandrutt has been roused this year due to parking regulations. There is only one place during regular hours that a student ·can park legally, and that is the infamous student parking lot; a story in itself, and a no-man's land that sometimes doubles as a lake. To avoid drownding, several people attempt parking elsewhere. They then confront parking tickets, fines, and having their cars towed away. The ideal solution is not to drive! The second most ideal solution is to drive a stolen car to school , park where you wish in the lots, and let them tow it away. Then, steal another car and drive it home! Two friends of mine, John and Paul, have made a fine art of avoiding tickets. John t:iought a teacher's car complete with a staff parking permit. John found that this worked very well until his car was stolen! He also tried painting his second car light blue and white, and installing a revolving bubble light. By leaving the light on, he could park anywhere without anyone disturbing his car ... except an occa- sional policeman. Paul would park near the trees or shrubs, and cover his car with branches. He did this until a near-sighted forestry student chopped his car down. As I stood talking to John and Paul in front of Van Lare Hall, a girl named Sadie drove up and parked in front of the building; amid a thousand no-parking signs. She started into the building as a man angrily walked up to her car and began writing a ticket . Sadie walked up to the man and began talking to him. In a few seconds his frown turned to a smile and he put his ticketbook away . Sadie turned around and went back into the bu il d ing. "That's Sexy Sadie for you." said Paul. "She's made a fool of everyone!" said John. •' ,, Owner Manager s'~c,-, . ;,;:""'~, Oene GaspP-nn . PhOI""" 356-2333 Phone: 356-2334 B & C Automotive Inc. Automotive Jobber Parts - Accessories - Tools Speed Equipment Member 8 2643 U.S. 23 South Alpena, Mich. 49707 Open 7 Days a Week WHY INTERVIEW ME? There are some problems a reporter goes through when he wants to get an interview. Sometimes, these will delay your newspaper . Like the time he goes to an office for an interview and the secretary tells him that the interviewee is in an important meeting. So, you come out of his office, go down the hall, and there he is, sitting there drinking coffee with the next guy you are supposed to interview! ·:::::::.- . - :-- ·. ~ ' '~>·.··,ii,,·~<~- .. -~-~- COMPLETE LINE OF AUTO ACCESSORIES & SUPPLIES - HIGH PERFORMANCE EN.GINE PARTS - SPEED EQUIPMENT MASCO AUTO DISCOUNT OPEN 7 DAYS WE OFFER SHOPPERS PRICE COMPARISON EVERY ITEM PRETICKETED WITH THE ACTUAL DISCOUNT PRICE I Subsidiary Of Morris Auto Parts WHERE QUALITY COUNTS AS MUCH AS DISCOUNT PRICES BANKAMERICARD MASTER CHARGE 125 W. WASHINGTON AVE. ALPENA Hours Mon. & Fri. 8 To 9 Tues. - Wed . - Thurs . - Sat . 8 To 5 Sun. 10 To 2 CALL 354-3134 OUR NEW SKI WEAR AND SKI EQUIPMENT IS IN STOCK NOW SKI IS-BY K-2, Head, Krystal. BINDINGS-BY Look, Solomon, Besser. POLES-Scott, Bear Crafter, also SKI RACKS Cross Country Skiis and Boots and Bindings by Profile, Avid's of Norway SKI BOOTS by Kastinger and K-2 - SKI WEAR by Profile SCHEUNER'S SPORT HAUS PHONE 354-4001 123 W. Chisholm 1 Or, when a cute girl reporter goes to interview an instructor who's been in the woods too long. She's lucky to get his name written down before he forgets she's a reporter! A reporter's misery is when the instruc- tors post their office hours, and he sits for hours waiting for one of them to show up, only to find out his appointment has been cancelled because his interviewee is out-of-town for the day! We, the staff of the POLEMIC, feel that we're taken too lightly . We're not trying to put you on the spot, win an .. , A+", or plaster your name in the head- lines; but, if you have something interest- ing to offer to our college, we'd like to print it! LUO'S . ..... HAMBURGER DRIVE-IN, STATE ST. Second Semester Sophomore At A.C.C. Is ... * Knowing you have alot of schooling in store, and realizing you have little to work with. * Knowing there's something beyond A.C.C., but not knowing what! * Trying to be the "upper classman" when you're only 5'0". * "Keeping your cool" among Freshmen when you've lost it! * Telling all the right answers--at the wrong time. * Having underclassmen respect you ... especially if you're in football, basket- ball, or wrestling! * Understanding "the ropes" of a col- lege after it's too late to use them! * Realizing the meaning of "it don't transfer!" * Forgetting 99.9% of what you have learned. * Greeting all the teachers on a "first name" basis. * Telling all your "buddies" good-bye and wondering if they'll remember your name·! * Being smarter than everyone else in school and not realizing it. * Leaving A.C.C., and wishing you weren't. * Knowing how to get all A's .. . but set- tling for B's. * Being too broke to afford graduation! "Here! Maybe THIS doughnut Is light enough to suit you.•· BUDS D@NUTS RIPLEY 1!,LVO. Doyle Distributing Distributers of: Pabst Blatz Drewrys Imported and Domestic Wines Rt. 2 - M-32 Phone 345-8700 THUNDER BOWL LANES OPEN BOWLING DAILY CUE ROOM ADOBE ROOM ENTERTAINMENT 5 NIGHTS A WEEK